morethanthis

Harry

The car refused to start. Aggressivly I spun the car key around to try to make it work. On the sixth try I heard the familiar sound of an engine starting. The radio automatically came on because it hadn’t been turned off before I parked the car earlier. A fucking love song bursted through the speakers. I quickly made it stop by punching the off button. I couldn’t deal with this. My chest hurt and my eyes were all watery. It blurred my vision a bit but I was still able to drive. I drove like a mad man. Right now I didn’t even care if a cop saw me. I didn’t care about anything anymore. My mind had been set on getting Emma to say yes and that had gone terribly wrong. I knew it was risky to ask but I had to. I had to know. But what now? Where do we go from this? All I want is to be with her. But the boyfriend label wasn’t enough anymore. I don’t know why, I just couldn’t stand it. I want to marry that girl. But she’s not ready to move on and me, I can’t wait to take it even further. Life is complicated like that. When two people want completely different things it’s hard to figure out a way to make it work. The word ’impossible’ popped up in my head but I quickly shoved it away. I didn’t want to think like that. I can’t lose her, I can’t. But I don’t know what to do.

The car drive seemed to take forever and the rain only made it worse. Raindrops on the windsheild and the tears in my eyes weren’t a very good mix. I didn’t see much. My heart jumped out of my chest when a truck honked loudly at me for accidently driving towards red light. How could I miss that? Rain doesn’t ruin colour vision. I shoke my head and concentrated on my driving so I wouldn’t drive down and get stuck in a ditch or worse, crash. Eventually I saw the parking garage of the apartment complex. I drove in, parked, hopped out of the car and slammed the door. I ran over the lawn through the rain, but stopped halfway up to the entrance. Instead I took sideways and fell down under the weak protection of a tree. The grass was wet and the tree’s branches and leaves did a terrible job keeping me dry. But I had already known that when I decided to sit down under here. I had realized I couldn’t bare with all the questions I was about the have thrown at me if I stepped inside the apartment. Maybe if I sat in the rain for a bit and cried until I ran out of tears, the lads wouldn’t notice right away. The crying would blend in so well with the raindrops. I just had to get myself together and deal with the boys later. I hadn’t told any of them what I had planned. Now I have to because they would wonder where Emma was. Oh my god Emma. I buried my head in my hands and sat like that for fifteen minutes. Then I got up on my feet, and dripping from water I continued the walk to the apartment. I realized I could definitly use a hug right now. Or four.

”Hi Harry!” Louis voice sounded from the other room.

”Hi Lou.” I answered, not so enthusiastically.

”Wow you’re wet.” Niall pointed out when he saw me.

”Thanks for noticing.” I said sarcastically.

”Your eyes are red.” He noticed.

”Crap.”

”Did something happened?”

I started crying again.

”Harry!”

Niall ignored how soaked I was a hugged me tightly. His body heat flowed through me and I noticed how freezing I was. I was actually shaking from cold.

”Don’t cry Harry, don’t cry.” Niall comforted. ”Talk to me.”

”She said no.” I cried.

”What do you mean no? Didn’t she want to go on the London Eye?”

”No Niall!” I pushed him away from me so he could see my facial expression.

”She said no!”

Niall finally understood what I was saying.