morethanthis

”Seems like we’re stuck in here for at least the rest of the day.” Påpekade Zayn, och blickade blygt bort mot Vivi. ”What shall we do?”

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Zayns perspektiv
The whole forenoon passed by without me saying more than two words to Vivi, which were ’thank you’ when she handed over a can of soda to me. Being shy really is a heavy load to carry. It holds you back from so many opportunities and you miss out on lots of things just because you’re afraid of being seen or heard. It’s the fear of embarrasing yourself that makes it so hard. I wish I could get over it, but I’ve been shy almost my entire life. It all begun when I started school. During the daycare days I wasn’t shy at all. I played with the rest of the kids just like everyone else and didn’t have a worry in the world. Then in first grade we had to introduce ourselfs in front of the class individually. I was second up and just as I was going to start talking I choked. My classmates giggled but smiled at me to encourage me to continue. I took a deep breath but right before any words came out I could barely remember my own name. The whole brain went blank and I had no idea what I was about to say. I stood there like an idiot, trying to form words. Now my mates laughed louder, but they didn’t mean to make me feel stupid. We were all only five and six year olds and had no idea just how deep something like that sticks with a person. I didn’t know either. I simply laughed nervously and got back in my seat. But ever since then I became even more pulled back from social interactions as the years went by. The shyness doesn’t go away until I have really gotten to know the person. I need to feel comfortable enough to be able to make a fool out of myself without fear of them leaving me, to go and be friends with someone ’normal’. So when I really let lose and go wild, that’s when you know you’ve gotten under my skin.
I shook my head to come back from thoughts and circulated the room with my eyes. I poked on Emma’s shoulder, who was sat right next to me on the couch.
”Where’s Vivi?”
”She went home to pick up... I think she said her phone but I’m not sure. She said she’d be back in just a few minutes.”
”And how many minutes has she been gone now?”
Emma turned her head to the big clock on the wall.
”Now that you say it. She’s been gone for like a good half hour.”
”I go check if she’s alright!” I offered and jumped off the couch. Emma gave me a cheeky wink. I waved it off and stuck my tounge out at her. Harry, who sat behind her with Emma sitting in his lap, gave me a weird look. I ran out of the room towards the hall to put my shoes on. I realized I didn’t bother, so I pushed up the door and went out in only socks. I skipped down the stairs in a rapid pace. Just before I was about to round the corner to the corridor I slowed myself down so Vivi wouldn’t catch me running to her rescue in case she was on her way up again. Luckily she wasn’t, so my heavy breathing didn’t bust me. The apartment door stood wide open. Strange... I looked in and in the first room I noticed it was empty. Didn’t Emma say she’d be here? I walked in and took a closer look. Nope, no one was either in the bedroom or the kitchen. It was a small apartment, how could it be so hard to find Vivi in here? Wait, apartments have bathrooms too. A closed door gave me a hint that it might be the bathroom. I pressed the doorknob down, but it wouldn’t open.
”Anyone there?” I heard Vivi’s voice on the other side of the wooden door.
”I’m here!” I shouted.
”Oh thank god!” She said relieved. I heard a few footsteps and assumed she had walked over to the door on the opposite side.
”Everything alright?” I asked.
”No not really.” She sighed. ”I think I’ve locked myself in.”
I choked a laugher.
”How did that happen?”