morethanthis

I stare at the white jar. Third time this week. I usually don't have to take them that often. I take a pill out and lay it on the bench. With a smash from my fist white dust shatters everywhere. I sweep it down in my glass of water before swallowing everything in one swoop. I put the glass down with a thud on the kitchen counter and return to the bed that awaits. Harry's already in it. His hair in a mess on top of his head and feet outside the end of the duvet.

"Did you finish packing?" He asks and gives me a meaning look. I stop breathing for a moment and my mind goes blank. I can almost hear the sound of crickets in there.

"N...o..." I whisperer and look down at the floor. I'm barefoot with a scrape on one of my toes. It's bleeding and leaves red traces on the other toe next to it. Not much, but visable. How did that happened? I can't even remember hitting it on anything. I had a high threshold for pain. It had to hurt major to make me shed tears.

"But oh my god." Harry sighs and gets out of his comfortable position under the covers. He's in his underwear only. He sleeps in them. The contrasts of his chiseled upper body shows clearly in the light from the lamp on the night stand. I glare at his strong back for a minute. His shoulder blades peek nicely out from his skin. I shake my head to come back to my senses. I kind of lose myself for a bit every time I observe him when there's no one around to tell me to stop. I move a bit closer up behind him and drag my finger carefully along his hip.

"It tickles!" He laughs and grabs my wrist to make it stop. He has a firm grip, but it doesn't hurt. He knows how much strenght to use. For a boy he was very ticklish. If you knew the right places. "Help me with the packing instead. YOUR packing."

"But it's practially done!" I throw my hands out from my body in a dejected gesture. I couldn't possibly think of more things to throw in there. I had clothes, hairbrush, toothpaste, sheets...

"Do you have a toothbrush?"

I freeze for 0.5 seconds before I run into the bathroom and come out with my blue toothbrush and toss it in the suitcase.

"So! Sleep!"

"Wait I-" He keeps refolding the clothes I had already folded once. He can be such a perfectionist. Not that I was any worth at folding shirts but can he let my clothes be for just once? For God's sake. He's focused and has his tounge peeking out from between his lips. He does that when he's concentrated but doesn't know he does. The curls on his head are hanging over his face and in his eyes. Both hands too busy to sweep them away.

"S-L-E-E-P." I pull on Harry and push him down on the bed to make him stop packing. The only thing that seems to work on him. He lands on his back but his head misses the pillow so he has to relocate himself. His abs tighten when he pushes himself further up on the matress. I can't help but stare. I jump in the bed myself and make the entire matress bounce up and down in waves.

"Are you happy?"

"Very. Now close your eyes, so we don't oversleep tomorrow." I put my fingertips on his eyelids and shut them. When that's done I snuggle up in his arms so my back touches his front. He's warm, like a toaster that has just been in use. I feel his breath hit my neck it with long pauses. His breathing is so slow I almost start to worry. But he does it every night. I fall alseep quickly thanks to my sleeping pill. Luckily for me it didn't kick in before I had time to shove Harry to bed. Or else he would have stayed up packing all night.